Letting Go of Expectations in Your Relationship

In every relationship, there are expectations that we have of our partners. We expect them to do certain things, behave in certain ways, and meet our needs. However, when our expectations are not met, we can feel disappointed, frustrated, or even resentful. This can create tension in the relationship and cause us to feel unloved. So how can we let go of expectations and build a stronger, more loving relationship?

Setting Expectations

The first step is to recognize that setting expectations is not always helpful. When we set expectations, we are essentially setting our partners up for failure. We are telling them that they need to meet certain standards in order to be loved and accepted. This can create pressure and anxiety for both parties and can actually undermine the foundation of the relationship.

Focusing on Acceptance and Gratitude

Instead of setting expectations, we can choose to focus on acceptance and gratitude. This means accepting our partners for who they are, differences and all, and being grateful for what they do. It means recognizing that we are all human, we had different lives growing up, and we do things differently.  Just because it is different does not make it wrong. 

Rewarding Gestures

For example, instead of expecting the toilet seat to be down when you need to use it, expect it to be up. Instead of expecting the drawers and cupboard doors to be closed, just close them when they are not closed. When someone wants to help you out, let the gesture be the reward and not the help they did was not helpful because you have to redo it. They truly thought of you and wanted to do something special for you.

Mindful Communication

Additionally, it’s important to be mindful of our own internal voices and the way we communicate with our partners. If we have a bully voice that tears down ourselves or others, we need to reframe it and deliver our words with love and gratitude, as we would want someone to deliver a message to us.

Letting Go of Control

Letting go of expectations and focusing on acceptance and gratitude takes practice and patience. It requires us to let go of control and to trust that our partners will do their best. But in doing so, we can build a stronger, more loving relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.

Getting Support

If you need help with the voice in your head and the way it responds to others, consider reaching out to me so I can support you in developing healthier communication patterns and building stronger relationships.